The Trump Kennedy Center has had a few months.
It seems like every day that another act cancels on the newly-minted Trump Kennedy Center. From a Hamilton run to Bela Fleck, The Cookers to Peter Wolf, acts are expressing their displeasure at the administration’s politicizing of the Center by refusing to play at it.
While the news has been generally bad for the Center recently, there have been a few bright spots, according to the new Trump Kennedy Center Press Secretary Ian Johnson.
“It is only the snowflake loser acts that are canceling,” said Secretary Johnson at a Wednesday press conference. “Our calendar is filling fast with acts that will resonate with the American public much better than a bunch of DEI ‘performers’. And note my air quotes!”
Acts such as:
Leni Reifenstahl: A Retrospective will start a limited run in March. “The director of ‘Triumph of the Will’ has long been under-appreciated thanks to that whole unfortunate Nazi thing,” Secretary Johnson said. “President Trump clearly sees through all that nonsense and welcomes a more balanced view of this influential director. Who we, uh, just learned is a woman, soooo… Hmm. Let me get back to you on this one.”
It’s A Small, Slammin’ World: Midget Wrestling Review. “The fluid elegance of wrestling, but they’re tiny folks, so hilarious!” Secretary Johnson said. “President Trump will emcee the entire run of this event, which is booked throughout the summer months, both evening shows and matinees. Bring the whole family!”
Quixote ‘26, with Kevin Sorbo. “September at the Trump Kennedy Center will be very special, as the eminent actor Kevin Sorbo plays the roll of John Quixote (pronounced Quicks-ott-tee), a man who goes to war with windmill companies around the world to save his precious feathered friends,” said Secretary Johnson. “And he does it all alone, because his sidekick Sancho Panza didn’t go through the proper legal channels and is currently cooling his heels in a Galveston ICE facility awaiting deportation. This one is entertaining AND educational.”
The Soy Boy Farmer’s Chorus. “They all showed up one day asking for a handout, and President Trump in his Solomon-like wisdom thought for a moment, then said, ‘No… but can you harmonize?’” Secretary Johnson said. “The rest is history, and the future! The Soy Boy Farmer’s Chorus will be performing classic Americana hits daily September through December.”
The complete 2026 Trump Kennedy Center schedule can be found at https://www.kennedy-center.org/trumptrumptrump.
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