While the current federal shutdown is starting to affect Americans of all political stripes, some avid MAGA voters admit that they are surprised that Democrats won’t be the only ones hurting.
“It was kind of a shock to tune into the ‘Sick Cures with RFK Jr.’ podcast and find it hasn’t been updated,” said Randy, a voter from Arkansas. “Particularly because last week’s episode ended halfway through the Ivermectin IV tutorial. And this upcoming episode was support to start Fart Therapy week. What the hell? Fix this, President Trump!”
For Jean from Sacramento, what her and her three daughters really miss is the weekly Melania MyPillow Story Hour.
“Hearing the First Lady struggle to read such classics as ‘Goldilocks Eaten by Three Stupid Bears’ and ‘Bi-Curious George Goes Straight To Hell’ has meant so much to the girls,” Jean said. “I hope this stupid Antifa shutdown is over soon.”
For Teddy, a junior attending North Dallas Regional High School, what hurts the most is losing the White House’s popular ‘Trans of the Day’ page.
“I’ve personally tracked down and identified over two dozen trans kids that we have highlighted through the government’s No More Pronouns Prayer Portal,” Teddy said, a tear sliding down his cheek. “If we can’t dox them and gather outside their homes, schools, and places of business, how are we supposed to aggressively save them?”
As the shutdown enters its second week, expect many more heartfelt stories such as this to crop up.
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