There were two big winners at this week’s White House Easter Egg Hunt. The first was the American people, who have been relieved by the knowledge that the nation’s long-standing egg crisis must surely be over if the administration can waste 30,000 of them on a South Lawn photo-op.
The second was President Trump himself, whose Crayola rendering of the Tesla-sponsored official printable WhiteHouseColoringPageForKids.jpg took first prize in the 12 and over category.
“Oh, I’ve always been a great color-er, fantastic actually. Everyone says so. Teachers, other kids, the girls especially,” said the President at this week’s cabinet meeting. The president’s colored sheet – dark gray White House with a surprising artistic flourish of red splotches angrily blocking out sections of the grounds, landscaping, fencing, and even the people – was passed around, with each cabinet secretary having a modest three minutes to describe why it moved them so.
“Some kid walked up to me, out of the blue… did you know they’re going to hang this wonderful painting I did in the Smithsonian, if we keep it open, I guess… But this kid says, ‘Sir, I wish I could draw like you’,” Present Trump recalled. “Isn’t that sweet? His drawing was horrible, just nasty. He’ll never draw like Trump. He just won’t.”
The president’s first place prize – a 1/100 scale Blue Origin rocket model that also doubles as a Chia Pet – will be awarded to him next week during a special joint session/luncheon on Capital Hill.
Thanks for reading! You can help to make this project grow by supporting us on Patreon.